Hello Hellmouth!
by Justagirlcalledbob
Summary: Ethan Rayne summons a chaos goddess to earth. Too bad she don't like obeying orders. Full summerary inside. ABANDONED.
1. Chapter 1:oopsie

Title: Hello Hellmouth!

Pairings: Willow/Oz, Nadia/Spike, Buffy/Angel, Xander/Faith.

Basic Plot: Ethan Rayne summons the Goddess of chaos to earth, but things don't end up according to plan….

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, that's the almighty awesome Joss Whedon's.

* * *

Ethan grinned evilly, as his summoning spell was completed. It would be seconds before the god of all chaos would appear before him. Suddenly, a huge pillar of black light shot down from the ceiling, and the impact it made on the floor threw him back against the wall. When he looked up again, he yelped.

Why? Because a beautiful girl was standing only inches away. She had elfin pale skin, waist length midnight black hair, and a perfect figure. But her eyes were the most frightening thing he had ever seen. Her eyes were bottomless pools of midnight black, no sign of white in sight. And she wore an insane grin that was far too big to be considered normal.

"Greetings, am I to assume you are the goddess of chaos?" He asked smoothly, standing up, and trying not to cringe from the sight of her. She didn't respond. He twitched; her grin was starting to make him lose his cool. "Cocksucker!" She yelled suddenly, before a pale fist slammed into his vision.

* * *

I didn't lose my grin as I stepped into Sunnydale, home of the Hellmouth. Looking around, it looked like an average California town, but I knew better. How? I'm the goddess of Chaos, Music, and Balance. The name's Nadia and my usual outfit is a black silk shirt, black silk slacks, and a black leather trenchcoat. I have a pair of lens less shades covering my eyes. Snickering to myself, I set out to find the Slayer. It was time for some change around here, PTB be damned.

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	2. Chapter 2:not sane!

Title: Hello Hellmouth!

Pairings: Willow/Oz, Nadia/Spike, Buffy/Angel, Xander/Faith.

Basic Plot: Ethan Rayne summons the Goddess of chaos to earth, but things don't end up according to plan….

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, that's the almighty awesome Joss Whedon's.

* * *

I soon became bored; it was taking way to long to find the slayer. So being my impulsive self, I purposely wandered into a cemetery, sensing someone following me. I noticed something sticking out of a grave, and wandered over. It was a hand. "Hmm. That's interesting." I remarked, never losing my grin. I waited patiently and soon enough a vampire stood in front of me. "Allo mate!" I chirped at it, before slamming my hand through its chest and crushing its heart. It screamed, and POOF. It turned into dust. I laughed with delight, clapping my hands.

"Wonderful!" I squealed, before twirling around and grabbing the throat of the being that had been sneaking behind me. My grin never faded as I looked the man up and down. He wore a black leather trenchcoat like mine, a black shirt, and black leather pants. He had platinum blonde hair that was in tiny spikes, and his face was vamped out. "YAY! Another Vamp for meh to dust!" I cheered, before throwing him against a tree. "Hold up pet! I'm a good vamp! I can't bite you!" He protested in British/cockney accent. I cocked my head at him, and my grin grew even bigger. "Well then Mr. Peroxide, you can show me to the Slayer!" I remarked, my grin becoming a bit predatory.

* * *

I whistled the star wars theme as I followed the vamp, apparently he was named Spike. He kept glancing back at me, fear apparent in his eyes. We stopped at the high school, and I followed him to the library. Upon entering, I immediately examined the few people inside. There were four teens, and one older man.

There was also a werewolf in a cage in the corner. Being the weirdo I was, I wandered over to the werewolf and beamed at him. "Aww, who's a cute wittle werewolf! Yes you are! Yes you are!" I cooed, reaching in and scratching behind the ears. The wolf wagged his tail, and started beating his leg. I snapped out of my OMGSOKAWAII phase as I heard the sound of weapons being cocked. Twirling around, my grin grew even bigger.

"Seems Spike led me to the right place! Cuz there's two slayers, an ex-dark mage like the one I keep in my pocket, a witch, and a secret tech genius!" I squealed, clapping my hands in delight. "Who are you, and what the hell do you want!" The blonde slayer demanded, and with an exaggerated flourish, I took over my shades. "Nadia, Goddess of Chaos, Music, and Balance at yer fuckin service!" I announced theatrically, my grin never slipping.

* * *

The older man, the witch, and Spike all gasped, looking at me fearfully. The two slayers and the tech genius only stared at my eyes. Raising an eyebrow, I laughed and took the pathetic chaos mage that summoned me out of my pocket. "By the way, does this belong to anyone?" I asked mock shyly, giggling as I re-sized him and threw him on the floor. He groaned, and curled into a ball. The other man snarled, and started for him. "Ethan! What the hell have you done?" He roared, grabbing the other man by the collar. Ethan only grinned. "Chaos..." Was his only reply before passing into unconsciousness.

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	3. Chapter 3: SPARRA

Title: Hello Hellmouth!

Pairings: Willow/Oz, Nadia/Spike, Buffy/Angel, Xander/Faith.

Basic Plot: Ethan Rayne summons the Goddess of chaos to earth, but things don't end up according to plan….

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, that's the almighty awesome Joss Whedon's.

* * *

I pouted as they continued to argue over me. They had tied me to a chair, and I was getting bored. I stood up, the ropes having been turned to ash, and sat down on the table, humming cheerfully. The gang only stared at me. "Nadia, we're going to try to send you back." The older man Giles said forcefully, and my grin dropped, my eyes narrowed, and my shoulders tensed. "NO.FUCKING.CHANCE. ASSFUCKER." I snarled, making him rear back in fear.

"Do you have any idea how boring heaven is? I'm always being forced to listen to dead humans whine and complain about how they thought heaven would be better! I AIN'T GOING BACK!" I ranted, flailing my arms about comically. "Besides, you guys are in fer some big trouble! Trouble that is gonna destroy this town and kill many innocent girls!" I told them angrily, my eyes burning.

"And how can someone like you help, hmm?" The tech genius Xander drawled, and I snorted. "I'll show you stupid faggy fish fer brains!" I threw out my wrist, revealing my silver armlet. Pressing a grey silver button, there was a flash of light, and then my best friend and pseudo older sister appeared. She had long phoenix red hair, violently violet eyes, honey colored skin, and a perfect body. She wore an outfit exactly like mine, only in all grey. She wore a grin exactly like mine.

* * *

"HIYA NADIA YAY YOU FINALLY ESCAPED THAT BORING PLACE CALLED HEAVEN!" She cheered, running around like a third grader on crack. "I know Mira, but we're in Sunnyhell at da mo, so tone down yer insanity mmkay?" I dead-panned, my grin appearing anyways. "Who is she?" Buffy the blonde slayer demanded, and Mira sent her a glare that could have fried an egg.

"I'm Mira, leader of the Insanity Brigade, most powerful elemental in existence, and youngest of the Triumivate!" She drawled, in a casual tone. "Where are yo brothers Mira?" I asked, hopping off the table, and stealing the large hammer that she kept for me. She pouted at me for stealing it, before clearing her throat.

"Ian is cussing out the Powers that be, and Neil is taunting the First Evil with little bits of chocolate." She announced, earning weird looks from the scoobies. "And Xander?" I asked, my smile reappearing. "Right here mon!" Came an American/Jamaican accent, as I was swept into a bone crushing hug. Squirming out of my other best friends grip, I turned and beamed at the seven foot tall black man.

* * *

Xander has emerald green hair in dreadlocks, warm earth brown eyes, brown skin, and an infectious grin along with an American/Jamaican accent that makes people smile. He's the leader of all Earth elementals and earth related matters, along with his twin sister Cassie. He's always wearing emerald green silk button up shirts wide open, and earth brown slacks. And he's never seen without his huge shark tooth necklace.

"Wait his names Xander too?" Willow asked, and Xander nodded, grinned a big warm smile. "Yeah mon, I be Xander Cage! Me twin sister Cassie is busy working on regrowing the rainforests." He confirmed in a cheerful goofy voice. The slay gang stared at him. "Xander's in charge of the Earth Elementals, and any matters concerning the Earth." I added helpfully, and they relaxed a bit. "But I could make it to see me favorite goddess!" Came a chirpy voice exactly like Xander's only more feminine. I twirled around to see Cassie herself.

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	4. Chapter 4:MUSIC

Title: Hello Hellmouth!

Pairings: Willow/Oz, Nadia/Spike, Buffy/Angel, Xander/Faith.

Basic Plot: Ethan Rayne summons the Goddess of chaos to earth, but things don't end up according to plan….

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, that's the almighty awesome Joss Whedon's. Don't own Far Away, that's nickelbacks. Don't own Love like Winter, that's AFIs.

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Cassie has long waist length emerald green hair, warm earth brown eyes, earthy brown skin, and a cheerful bubbly smile. She's always wearing emerald green silk shirts with puffy cuffs, and earthy brown bohemian silk skirts. She always wears matching necklace and earrings with emeralds in the shape of a leaf. I gave her a hug, before letting her take her place by Xander, wearing a cheerful bubbly grin. "How can they help?" Spike asked, and Cassie sent him a beaming smile.

"Well, a Hellmouth isn't supposed to be on the Earth, ya see mon? So we have to make sure is dies a painful death!" She chirped with a hint of malice towards anything hurting the Earth. "You two, I want you to fetch the rest of the gang, and prep them in HQ." Mira ordered, and the twins vanished.

* * *

Being bored, I started humming the imperial march. But that got boring, so I went over and poked Spike annoyingly, saying "Bother! Bother! Bother!" He twitched, as Xander laughed at him. I skipped backwards, and threw my arms out, beginning to sing, "_This time, This place  
Misused, Mistakes  
Too long, Too late  
Who was I to make you wait  
Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left  
'Cause you know,  
you know, you know  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore  
On my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance  
'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand  
I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up  
'Cause you know,  
you know, you know  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I miss you  
Been far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go  
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore  
So far away  
Been far away for far too long  
So far away  
Been far away for far too long  
But you know, you know, you know  
I wanted  
I wanted you to stay  
'Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say  
That I love you  
I have loved you all along  
And I forgive you  
For being away for far too long  
So keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Hold on to me and, never let me go…" _Grinning, I looked at the others. They were staring, big time. "You people suck!" I yelled randomly, before running out the door and transporting to the nearest dance club.

* * *

Upon appearing in the dance club, I ran up to the stage. To my fortune, it was Kareoke Night. I grabbed the mic, and smirked at the disbelieving faces. "_Warn your warmth to turn away.  
Here it's December every day.  
Press your lips to the sculptures  
and surely you'll stay (Love like winter)  
for of sugar and ice, I am made, I am made.  
It's in the blood, it's in the blood.  
I met my love before I was born.  
He wanted love. I taste of blood.  
He bit my lip and drank my war  
from years before, from years before.  
She exhales vanilla lace.  
I barely dreamt her yesterday, yesterday.  
Read the lines in the mirror  
through the lipstick trace "Por Siempre".  
She said, "it seems you're somewhere far away" to his face.  
It's in the blood, it's in the blood.  
I met my love before I was born.  
She wanted love. I taste of blood,  
She bit my lip and drank my war  
from years before, from years before.  
Love like winter, oh, oh...  
Love like winter, winter... 3,4  
It's in the blood, it's in the blood.  
I met my love before I was born.  
He wanted love. I taste of blood.  
He bit my lip and drank my war  
from years before, from years before." _I sang, and the place cheered! Grinning, I finally let my guard down. Heaven, who cares. Life is good!

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